Flip the Script

Sabotaging Success: When Trauma Wears a Financial Mask

We often think of trauma as something that shows up in our relationships, our health, or our emotional regulation. But trauma is sneaky—it can infiltrate every corner of our lives, including the way we handle money. One of the most overlooked ways trauma manifests is through intentional financial self-sabotage: making bad money decisions not out of ignorance, but as a subconscious act of rebellion, punishment, or protection.

🧠 Trauma Doesn’t Just Live in the Past—It Lives in Our Habits

Trauma rewires the brain to prioritize survival over strategy. If you grew up in chaos, unpredictability might feel more familiar than stability. So even when you have the tools, knowledge, and resources to build financial success, you might find yourself:

• Blowing through savings just when you start to feel secure

• Avoiding budgeting because it feels controlling or triggering

• Racking up debt on things you don’t even want

• Quitting jobs impulsively or refusing promotions

• Giving away money to others while neglecting your own needs

These aren’t just “bad choices.” They’re often trauma responses.

🔥 Why We Undermine Ourselves

Here are some common trauma-rooted beliefs that drive intentional financial sabotage:

• “I don’t deserve success.” If you’ve internalized shame or guilt, thriving financially might feel like a betrayal of your past or your identity.

• “Success isn’t safe.” For some, visibility and wealth bring fear—of being targeted, judged, or abandoned.

• “I need chaos to feel alive.” If your nervous system is wired for crisis, calm might feel intolerable. Financial stability can feel boring or even threatening.

• “I’ll lose it anyway.” If you’ve experienced loss, you might preemptively destroy what you build to avoid the pain of having it taken from you.

🛠️ Healing Means Rewriting the Script

Financial healing isn’t just about spreadsheets and savings goals—it’s about confronting the emotional undercurrents that drive our decisions. Here’s how to start:

• Name the pattern. Awareness is the first step. Journal about your financial behaviors and ask: “What am I really trying to feel or avoid?”

• Practice self-compassion. You’re not broken—you’re adapting. Every “bad” decision had a logic rooted in survival.

Let's co-creatively work on telling your own new story around money. A 30-minute discovery call and help you start the process of going from trauma to control through accountability.